my love for my hometown, Zamboanga City

Tweet Have you ever felt such deep emotions for a place that holds a big space in your heart that you could hardly breathe as you try to put down your feelings in writing?  I have always been fond of my birthplace, my hometown, Zamboanga City, ever since I was young.  I always sat down with our elders during reunions and intimate family gatherings just so that I can hear about the stories from old.  I loved listening to my parents, relatives and their friends as they retold again and again their fond memories of the place they called their true home. I took their stories, plus what I have learned of its rich and colorful history and combined it with the little of what I remember and made them my own memories.  You see, I did not grow up in Zamboanga City.  A couple of months before I turned two (2) years old, my father transferred us, his family, to Manila to pursue a career that he had started to build in Zamboanga City.  Ever since then, we lived in Quezon City, transferring from one rented place to another until finally, after a couple of decades later (give or take a few years), my father was able to provide us with our own house, our home away from our true home.  

The first time I went back to visit Zamboanga for vacation was a year or so after we transferred to Manila.  Being so young at that time, what I mostly remembered then were the fun times we spent playing with our cousins, or going to the beach or eating delicious seafood and fruits that were abundant in Zamboanga.  The 2nd time I went back for a visit was ten (10) years after the first.  By this time I was older and a bit more matured to take in more of what the city offered. I remember feeling envious of my cousins who lived  there their whole lives.  I told myself that I would persuade my parents to let me go home every summer after that so I can experience more of the city.  But due to reasons not worth mentioning, I never went back, that is not until after almost two (2) decades.  We went home to attend the wedding of one of my cousins.  It was my shortest visit out of the three as we only stayed for a little more than a week,  But what struck me most this time was that it was a lot smaller relative to what I remembered it to be and from what I heard in stories.  Don't get me wrong.  Zamboanga City is big. But if you measure it in travel time as you go from one place to another, the distance between places were a lot shorter than what I was used to here in Metro Manila.  This only added to the growing affection I had for the city that I hardly knew personally.  Almost all of what I held dear to me about the place came from the stories and old pictures that my parents and relatives treasured.  This did not stop me from loving it more and more.  I was, and still am, proud of my roots, my heritage.  All this time, even when I lived most of my life here in Quezon City, I never forgot my native dialect.  My parents made sure we never forgot Chavacano, a mixture of Spanish, Visaya, Tagalog, Subanen etc.  

Now, Zamboanga City is under attack by rebels who aim to take freedom away from my fellow Zamboanguenos and to establish the city as part of a different republic.  Hearing about these rebels who came in with show of force: shooting at civilians as well as soldiers protecting the city, burning down houses and establishments, snipers shooting at firemen as they try to put the fire out and holding hostages and using them as human shields, have riled me up so much that I could hardly breathe.  I realize now that it was my anger that triggered my recent asthma attack.  I can't sleep. thus I am still writing this until the wee hours of the morning.  But what riles me the most is the way our government officials, both local (Zamboanga) and national, and even most of the media covering the crisis, are trying to downplay what is happening in Zamboanga City.  They keep saying that the situation in the city is under control and everything is back to normal but the truth is they have not done anything  that will end this crisis as peaceful and gentle as possible at the soonest possible time.   For one reason or the other, the country's highest official has been quiet about this crisis, leaving it to his cabinet members and aides to try and control the situation.  Today is the 5rh day, what is taking them so long to get this situation under control for real?    What does it take for them to act immediately to end this senseless violence that is being inflicted upon my people, my fellow Zamboanguenos?  I may not be physically affected as I am living all the way here in Metro Manila, but my heart is breaking as I see my hometown being destroyed and the inexplicable suffering that my people are going through.   If only my health would allow me, I would be there to help my people, even if I have to put my life at risk.  I want our future generations to have our beloved city in their care, rather than having it placed under the rule of undeserving people.  Yes, they are my people for I hold them dear and very near to my heart, for they are as much part of the roots that I rightfully claim, being the proud daughter of my Zamboanga Hermosa. 

An Open Letter to the President of the Republic of the Philippines, Benigno Aquino III Re: The Crisis in Zamboanga City

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Dear Mr. President, 

I write to you today as I listen to news about my beloved hometown, Zamboanga City.  I am Kathrina Abrera Libarnes, born to parents who both came from the City of Flowers.  I was born there in 1973 but my family and I moved to Manila before I turned two (2) years old.  I've spent 38 years here in Quezon City and with regret I have only gone back to Zamboanga City for vacation three times in all these years, each visit with more than a decade in between.  But this does not lessen my love for the city where I was born and for the people in it.  This is where my roots came from, with bloodlines stemming from 3 or 4 generations before mine.  I even have granduncles, paternal side, who served in the government, both local and national.   One was even an esteemed senator who served the country before my time.  Thus, my ties cannot be easily broken even though I personally do not have memories of growing up there.  I must admit that now, as my family and I listen or watch the news about the attack in specific areas of Zamboanga City, I would often turn to my Mom and ask her if she knew the place and if they where near the areas that I was familiar with or near the areas where we have relatives still living there.  

I am aware that my hometown has undergone a lot of hardships from the time before I was born up to more recent times.  If I remember correctly, just a few years back, armed men also caused panic in one of the villages, a bit far from the city's center.  Insurgents have also tried to instill fear among our people by planting and blowing up bombs in key areas of the city.  Not counting the invasion and colonization of other countries, this is the first time that a group of armed rebels attacked our city with the intention of "liberating" us from the Philippine government.  One of their goals is to take over our city hall and raise their flag and make Zamboanga City part of Bangsa Moro Republic.  Unless we have been duped by our government, hiding the fact that Mindanao has become Bangsa Moro Republic, I believe that we are still part of the Republic of the Philippines and that I am still Filipino and not a foreigner in a land where I have lived and pledged allegiance to all my life.

This is not about Christians vs Non-Christians or Catholic vs Muslims.  Zamboanga has been, for the longest time, a place that has nurtured and celebrated the diversity of culture, beliefs and traditions of the different people that has called it their home.  Throughout the years, Christians and Muslims have lived side by side, though with some personal spats and misunderstandings, and call each other brothers.  This is about aggressors, fully armed and ready for battle, who has the intention of taking our freedom away.  Others outside Zamboanga City may think that we are over-reacting, thinking that this is only a small group and that our government forces can quash this crisis easily.  Then again, Mr. President,  with that exact point, I counter and say, "Precisely, it is a small group but why then, after four (4) days (five by the time this open letter gets out) the situation is not yet contained and controlled?"  How many more lives, civilians and soldiers/policemen alike, should be taken?  How many more houses/establishments/livelihoods be destroyed before appropriate actions are implemented to stop this madness?  If you are serious in nipping this in the bud, why send an insufficient number of half-starving, zombified due to lack of rest, with insufficient arms and gears, soldiers during the first few days?  Why have we not heard from you directly, seeing only your cabinet members and aides?  I do understand that you are delegating responsibilities and as you don't do the dirty works in most cases, but don't you know how much your people would like to hear assurance coming from you that you will not let our city be taken by force and be separated from the Philippines?

Ever since I was matured enough to think and speak for my own, there have been a number of issues that our country has caused discord in our ranks but I have never been more vocal in raising my own thoughts and views until four (4) days ago, when my hometown was attacked.  I fervently pray to our Father in Heaven, through the intercession of his Son, Jesus Christ, and through our Mother, Mama Mary,  to guide you and the rest of those involved in this situation to do the right thing by us.  You have reiterated time and again that we are your bosses.  We ask you to stand up and and take  charge and be responsible for the safety of your people, and for bringing back peace and order to our beloved Zamboanga City.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Kathrina Abrera Libarnes

a year has passed .......

(Note:  I first wrote this a month after my father's death but it was too painful for me to finish it and it was left untouched in the draft box until today.)

A year ago today, my family and I, along with our closest relatives, took turns keeping vigil over my father, who was then fighting his final battle.  A couple of days before this day, he went through several episodes wherein his blood pressure went down as low as 70/40 mmHg and his heart rate went up as high as 150 beats/minute.  His temperature was up too at 40 degrees Celsius most of the time.  We could feel the heat from his body every time we leaned in to kiss him or greet him hello or even just to hold his hands or feet.  Doctors came in to give him medicines and titrated/regulated them until his vital signs returned to almost normal values.  At first he could still respond, either verbally or by facial or hand gestures.  But his responses became weaker and lesser as the hours and days passed by.  By this time. we as a family prayed more often inside his hospital room.  We said the rosary as a group or individually.  We would quote psalms or short prayers as we whispered into his ears.  For my part, I kept taking his hand and placing it over my head like he would normally do every time I lean against him during Sunday mass.  Oh how we tried not to cry every time he showed signs of going, but of course we failed miserably. For days, it felt like he was was waiting for someone.  When he was still able to, he kept looking at his watch as if counting the hours of that some one's arrival. At first we thought he was just waiting for my youngest brother, Josemaria, who was then hurrying his way home from the US.  But still he kept checking his watch even when Josemaria was already here.  Then, on March 25, 2012, a Sunday. which marked the Feast of Annunciation, my Dad, who had a very endearing devotion to Mama Mary, took his last breath at 6:44 pm, and his heart stopped beating at 7:01 pm.  Finally, he went home.  

His funeral lasted one week, as he instructed my older sister during one of her visits a month or so before his final hospitalization.  Even during his last few days, after he told us that he wanted to "go home", he gave instructions like he would when we plan for parties or a get together with close relatives.  A friend of mine even commented when she came to  pay her respects that this was the only funeral she came to that had the feel of celebration in the air.  Yes, this too my Dad planned for.  He didn't want us to be sad when he left.  He didn't even want us to wear black.  He wanted us to celebrate his life and not mourn for his death.  

In that one week, beloved relatives and friends came pouring in, a testimony of how much my Dad was loved by the people he encountered in his life time.  It was heartwarming to see all the people who paid their last respect to the man that is my father.  It was just recently when we: me, mom, my brother and sister-in-law, talked about the funeral procession and how long the line of cars was that followed us to the cemetery.  As usual, we had tears in our eyes as we recounted our stories of that day.  My Mom says that Dad planned everything in advance even before he knew of his sickness.  He bought a family plot not far from our house, a mere 10-minute drive.  So now it is easy for us to go visit him anytime we want to.  

We still miss you a whole lot, Daddy.  Not a day passes when we don't think of you.  I find it impossible not to think of you when everything I do with my life has the mark of your influence.   A year has passed since you went home but it feels like it was just yesterday when you were here with us.  No matter what, you will always be number one in our hearts.  Love you Dad!

Ready? Aim ...... Fire!!!

It was my younger brother, Josemaria, who first discovered the promo last year via GROUPON. This year, I stumbled upon the promo when I visited their home page while looking around the net for something fun to do. It was unplanned as my friend and I went to P.B. Dionisio office yesterday, March 8, only to buy a voucher for the use of their shooting range. gun rental and basic instructions. But when we got there, we found out that their shooting range had an open schedule and we could go there that same day. And so we did, after buying two (2) vouchers good for 2. CLick PROMO.




Foregoing lunch, we went straight to the shooting range and used one of the two vouchers we bought from their office. Since we were the only ones there, the staff processed our voucher right away and we were inside one of their ranges in a matter of minutes. Our gun instructor brought our rented guns, caliber .45 for my friend and a 9mm for me, with 50 rounds each. I was so giddy with excitement (or maybe due to hunger, I don't know hehe) that I was trembling like a leaf, a giant leaf that is hahaha! He started giving out instructions on how to handle a pistol. As he was doing so, I suddenly had a flashback of my Dad, teaching me the same thing back when I was younger.

I was a bit of a tomboy back then that while the women of the clan were preparing food for our weekly weekend picnics, I was with the men, doing target practice. My Dad never discouraged me but he made sure I followed their instructions in how to handle pistols safely. I know I haven't mentioned him in a while but I recently realized that everything I have been doing lately were all influenced by him. His 1st death anniversary is in two (2) weeks but it seems like it was just last week when he helped shape me into who I am now. Being in the firing range yesterday, hearing the same words (almost the same anyway) of constant reminder on how to properly grip the pistol and the praises for hitting the mark, I felt his presence more in just one hour compared to the past couple of months. I terribly miss him, but doing stuff that was influenced by him helps in easing the ache.

Click me, in action for the video

Going back to my very recent shooting experience, the above video link and photo are proofs that I actually did it.  In the video, you can hear the instructor (though very faint) say "NICE" and "HIT".  My friend even blurted out in our native tongue: "she's even better than me!"  The video also shows that I still haven't picked up my pacing, taking me 1.37 minutes to finish ten rounds.  The instructor thought I was a newbie (though I did say while we were checking in that I was sort of a beginner since the last time I held and/or fired a gun was more than a decade ago) thus he was very impressed with the groupings that I made.   He even pointed out as he handed me my board, that only 3 out of the 50 rounds landed outside the alpha zone and that most rounds made nice tight groupings inside the alpha zone.  He even joked that most of my rounds missed the board and went through the big holes that I've made by hitting the same area a couple of times or so.    The instructor also mentioned that if I were in a competition, I would have advanced to the next round. I was one proud gunslinger earlier, even teasing my friend as we compared boards.

We enjoyed so much that we plan to use the 2nd voucher next week.  I am afraid that I have been bitten by another kind of shooting bug.  1st shooting bug has my dslr as choice of weapon.  The 2nd one has the pistol as my choice of weapon.  Anyone in need of a personal bodyguard? hahahaha

Of Doors and Windows and Answered Prayers

When God closes the door on one thing, He leaves many windows open :) In my reflections this week I remembered this quote which says something like "God answers prayers in 3 ways: 1) He gives you exactly what you ask for, knowing that you deserve it. 2)  It may take a while, but He gives you what you ask for at the right time, which teaches you patience and humility. 3) He doesn't give you what you ask for but instead He gives you something else, something that He knows is best for you."  If we have little faith or if we are impatient (which most of us are) and numbers 2 or 3 happens, we often give up easily and we blame Him when things don't go the way we want them to.  

In the last 3 weeks or so, I was bombarded with small problems, which grew bigger and bigger and bigger until it almost made me give up on something that I've invested my time, money, body and even my soul for the past couple of years. My health was getting compromised too and I did not want to be a burden to anybody, specially my family.  The other night, after a heart to heart talk with my sister, brother-in-law, and my Mom, I prayed for a sign, something that would tell me that enough is enough.  I asked my Dad's help too, as I would when he was still with us.  The very next morning, I got one, or so I thought.  I was both surprised and hurt.  Surprised because it was so fast and hurt because it meant that  I would be losing something that has meant so much to me since I started it.  I said  that my decision was final, but I was mistaken.  It wasn't the end.  It indeed was a sign, but not a sign for me to give up, but instead it was a wake up call.  In just the 2 days that passed after getting the "sign", I was directed to research online for something that could help me get back on my feet again.  I remember I did this before but I never got the result that I was looking for.  But just after a few clicks, there it was.

And so,  my dear friends, here I am again, starting over.  No, not from scratch, since I have the foundation already, but starting over with a clean slate.  The wake up call was for me to work things out and do everything the correct and right way.  Although it feels like I was slapped on the wrist by my Dad, scolding me for letting things slide after he passed.  But at the same time, I feel blessed and thankful that he is still there to guide me.  Thus,  I conclude that the DOOR to my problems is now closed, and the windows to better and brighter opportunities are now opening.

being the better person

I had wanted my first post after a hiatus from blogging for about 4 months or so, to be more positive.  I was waiting for the right time, right reason, right topic.  But what happened to me just an hour ago has pushed me to write again.

I lost my temper over an inconsiderate SOB of a driver (young and reckless of a fool) who cut me off on my blind side as I was driving towards the exit ramp of Trinoma's parking lot.  I went down and confronted him (showed him the Hulktress that was in me) as I caught up to him at the toll gate. This I did in front of my mom (who was my passenger and who would have been the most injured one of us all had he hit us.) Do you know what riled me the most? His "what did i do?" face as he drove off like nothing happened.  But what got me to calm down after several minutes of ranting while driving was my mom saying "What if he had a gun and shot you down, then what?"  That made me want to sink into my seat from shame.  Shame because I had permitted my very short temper get the best of me.  Shame because anger made me forget  the countless of times she and my dad kept reminding me after i got sick that I should learn to control my temper. 

I remember posting a blog several years back in my Multiply account which my Dad was able to read,  He confronted me about it soon after as we had our usual video conference.  He reminded me of our "let 10 id**ts pass rule" wherein every time we encounter SOBs on the road, we should let 10 of them pass before we get angry.  By the time 10 of them had crossed our path, we already forgot about the others.  He actually taught me a lot, the rest I may blog about next time.  


As I reflect on what happened earlier, this phrase came into mind: "be the better person." Dad said that a lot.  He applied it to a lot of situations himself.  He inculcated this into our being, leading us by example.  I am human, thus I stumble.  I stumbled tonight and I permitted my anger to break loose.  I would like to commit to be the better person.  I will keep it in mind all the time to help me become a better person.  I will strive not to stumble again, but if I do, I am sure he will do something again to remind me.

My Most Favorite Childhood Song

K-K-K-KATY

K-K-K-Katy, beautiful Katy, 

You’re the only g-g-g-girl that I adore; 

When the m-m-m-moon shines, 

Over the c-c-c-cowshed, 

I’ll be waiting at the k-k-k-kitchen door.

My Dad and his friends used to sing this song a lot when I was young.  Back then I thought it was an original song that they made up just for me.  When I grew older I learned that it was a campfire song that they used to sing as boy scouts.  

My Dad used to sing this to me as a lullabye but it had a different effect on me.  Even when I was already half-asleep,  I would sing along with him and end up being wide-awake, singing the lyrics at the top of my lungs.  

Last night, some of his friends from high school visited him. To our delight, he was awake and very lively as they chatted about the old days (stories we've heard countless of times every time they got together) and as they sang songs from their repertoire back when they were part of the glee club.  For the first time, after all these years, I heard my Dad sing this song again.  He was looking at me and gestured to me with his hand as he sang.  I sang along with them and danced a bit until I felt the tears running down my cheeks.  I did not want to turn away but I had to since I did not want him to see me cry.  

How I wish I recorded that moment.  Imagine, a video of him singing my most favorite childhood song.  I now have my camera ready just in case his friends would visit and they sing that song again.  

Sing this song for me again, Daddy.  Sing it for me again.......

Of Tears and Pain

I have been battling with myself whether to blog or not what I have been going through lately.  Today, as I sit here, facing my Dad who is lying on a hospital bed too groggy from all the medicines, I felt the need to air all my feelings out.  I know that all my recent blogs have been pretty sad but who can blame me when my Dad's prognosis has turned from hopeful to terminal in just a matter of months.

I can count the times when I've permitted myself to cry unabashedly since the start of my Dad's ordeal in one hand.  We all agreed that we would not cry infront of our Dad.  It saddens him to see us in tears and no one wanted to add to the pain that he's already going through.  I have been telling myself to be strong, and praying for the courage to face this latest chapter of our lives, for both my Dad and Mom.  But seeing him in physical agony and seeing her trying hard to keep her emotions in check, is tearing me to pieces.  My siblings and I have our own coping mechanisms but I know they too, feel the same way.  

We all try to go on with our normal daily routines.  I have been going back to the shop, managing it and trying to improve it's services bit by bit.  Aside from that, I try to squeeze in errands for the family.  I have been trying to make time to go out with friends, but unfortunately our free schedules do not match most of the time.  But it is really difficult to concentrate on one thing, when at the back of my mind, I am dealing with the thought that my father may soon be gone.  No matter how much I prepare for it; no matter how strong I try to be; and even if I've accepted his situation, I am still my father's daughter and my heart is flooded with tears and pain. 

Once when I was young and was in pain from an unknown cause, I heard my Dad say: "I feel so useless, I cannot do anything for her.  If only I can carry the pain for her, I would, just so that she won't suffer anymore."  That is how I feel right now.  I am willing to own the pain he is going through, just so that he won't suffer anymore.

I Have A Dream

After dinner at home with my dad and mom, we were listening to dad's ABBA CD and we got to talking about a lot of things.  Each song we listened to gave us specific memories of people, places and events; from the time of long ago until the most recent ones.  It has always been a treat for us, their children, to listen to their stories.  Tonight it was just me and and my mom, and I contributed some of the memories I had of the stories being told.  When the song "I Had A Dream" started playing, my dad excitedly asked me to turn the volume up.  I knew for the longest time that this was his most favorite song from the group.  He had other favorites but this one topped his list.  When the song ended, he asked me to play it again.  I forgot now what we talked about while the song was being played the first time.  But what is now stuck in my head was my mom's odd (I thought it was odd the first time she said it) request.  She told me that I should sing this song for dad.  I was confused at first because I didn't know of any upcoming get-together where I could see myself singing for my dad.  Thus,  I asked her when she wanted me to do it.  Then, as I looked at her and saw her eyes, I finally understood what she meant and I nearly burst out into tears.  I can't say it now but maybe someday I will tell you everything.  But as for now, let me share to you my dad's favorite ABBA song.  

that one day

just give me one day
a day when i can pour my heart out,
singing the blues that replaced the redness of my heart
a day when i can just burst out in tears.
like a river running down my cheeks
a day when i can be weak.
losing the battle previously won
a day when i can lean on others,
getting comfort from wherever i can
give me that one day
then I will be strong
like a mountain
pushing against the wind
someone you can depend on
through highs and lows
through thick and thin
just give me that one day
then i will be the one .......


the one to give you 
all the DAYS that you need




Katy L. 02/05/2012

my family's request for support

Please refer to this blog if you haven't read it yet.

Can I do this on my own?

I am struggling as I start to write this blog.  Why?  Because up to now I still do not want to admit that after all the things my dad has endured during the 2nd phase of his chemotherapy, colon cancer cells has spread to his liver and abdominal walls (stage 4).  Those who have medical backgrounds or with family members who have gone through the same thing knows that if left untreated, he may have at least 6 months or the most 2 years to live.  After a conference with his oncologist and consultations with his siblings, who are mostly in the medical field, he was told that there is a big chance that he may beat this disease if he undergoes a 3rd phase of chemotherapy and surgery right away.  

What is stopping him now from getting the treatment that he needs is the lack of funds since the first two phases of chemotherapy has nearly depleted the family's savings.  We need about 4.5M to cover his initial treatment and surgery (that does not cover maintenance dose after surgery) but we only have less than 800,000 left in the bank right now.  And even if we get to sell whatever properties we still have it will not reach half of what we need.  

My dad has told us that enough is enough and he would rather that we prepare for his palliative care to spare him from pain when the end comes.  But could anyone blame us if we go behind his back and try to look for ways so that he can have his treatment and surgery?  

And so, our dear friends, relatives, former workmates and acquaintances (Yes, with all humility I implore even those I do not know personally) in behalf of my family I would like to request for your support, may it be in any form/kind or amount. 

As for now I am open to pledges as I still have to make sure of the account number / bank account or address where you can send your donations.  Thank you very much in advance! 

Sincerely,

Katy Libarnes

My Balay Indang Experience: A Place of Tranquility and Serenity

We all crave for that perfect place where we can spend some time away from the hustle and bustle of the city, right?  And as we are all different from each other, we have our own preferences as to what we would like to do once we escape from our chaotic city life.  But sometimes we look for familiar amenities that the city offers like cable television and WIFI connection since we all want to be connected to the outside world as much as we want to have our alone time.  

I knew even before I got to Balay Indang that they did not offer both cable television and WIFI connection.  I know that a lot of people from the city would consider this to be a let down and may even think twice, or even ten times, before they make a reservation to such a place.  But as for me, I welcomed the idea as I wanted to spend time away from the daily stress of city living.  When I got there, I immediately felt the tranquility and serenity that exuded from all sides and corners of the place.

Balay Indang can be considered as a bed and breakfast type of accommodation and at the same time it can be considered as a place of retreat, either to a big group or even to one person who would like to spend some time alone to meditate or maybe even mend a broken heart.   Balay Indang offers a lot of nooks and crannies all around the estate where one can spend time reading a good book, paint, sketch, draw, meditate or simply take a nap after a sumptuous meal.   They offer other amenities like the use of their conference room, swimming pool, billiard table, and they lend out board games too.  They also offer some spa services but you have to make arrangements with the staff as early as possible so that they can make a schedule for you since they do not have their own spa crew.  There is no restriction though on bringing in DVD players or using wireless broadband connections, but I doubt if one can get a signal there. 

The Watch Tower

there are 3 levels, all with lazy boys and day beds

inside the watch tower, one of 3 rooms available for day use

wishing i could just stay there and read or paint or draw

wouldn't you want to just stay there all day?

my fave spot of our room: where i sat while sorting through my photos whenever i had  free time

(Anecdote:  We were talking to the staff one meal time and we found out that aside from big groups who stay there for a week-long retreat or seminar, we were the only ones who stayed there for more than 2 days.  My brother and sister-in-law actually broke their record by staying there for four days and four nights.  Like I said earlier, we all have our own preferences on how we would like to spend our time away from the city.  I would have loved to stay longer but I have a shop to go back to and other responsibilities at home to take care of.  Next time, I may just go back there and spend my time enjoying any one or all of the places in the photos posted above.)

My Balay Indang Experience: Gastronomic Feast

Fiesta ala Balay Indang

Okay, I will now admit that this was the first consideration why I agreed to join my brother, Robel, and sister-in-law, Rose, in Balay Indang.  When Rose told me over the phone what they had for dinner on their first night, I was already salivating and wished that I could teleport myself to Balay Indang right then and there.  In the first two days of their stay in Balay Indang,  Robel and Rose did not do much except eat and sleep, eat some more and sleep some more.  Their break from eating and sleeping was to take some photos of each other as they walked off some of the calories that they took in.  Although Balay Indang offers different packages when it comes to room and board plus meals, the package that they got was the complete room and board with 5 meals a day: breakfast, snacks, lunch, snacks, dinner.  As part of Balay Indang's hospitality and service, every meal time is like being in a fiesta mode.  They serve about five (5) to six (6) dishes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.   From salad to pasta or noodles, fried or flavored rice, seafood, meat dish then dessert.  And as long as that particular dish is still available, you can ask for refills.  Snacks were either sandwiches, tarts, or favorite Filipino treats like turon or suman, Balay Indang-style.    Rose warned the staff the day before I arrived that she was bringing in someone to help them finish their food, as they would always have leftovers especially with seafood since Robel is allergic to shrimps and crabs. They were confident that, with my help, we would be able to eat what they serve without leaving a single morsel on the table.  But lo and behold, when I got there and had my first meal, I raised the white flag on the first serving alone. Although the 2nd serving of seafood got me to eat some more, the rest of the dishes were left untouched after the 1st round.  We have heard of eat-all-you-can offers, right?  As for the Balay Indang version, we thought that the more appropriate term was: "can-you-eat-all?"  It did not help that even the simplest dish that they would serve tasted like gourmet food.  And as I write this particular blog, I wish that I am back there now, eating like it was my last meal on earth.

I will be sharing some photos that I have available.  And as soon as I find the other food photo files (I thought I saved them in my laptop but as I have checked several times, I can't find them here.  They may be, I hope, in my external hard drive, which is currently hiding from me)  I will post them in my Facebook account and update this blog with the link.

Shrimps with Buko Strips (all mine though Rose got a spoonful or 2 just to try it)

Sotanghon Guisado

Left to right: inihaw na liempo, embotido, fried rice Center: Shrimps with Buko Strips

Gado-Gado (mixed veggies and shrimps with peanut sauce)  I ended up eating most of it since Robel and Rose stayed away from shrimps

Gado-Gado minus the shrimps for Robel

Please check this out for more photos.

My Balay Indang Experience: From a Photography Enthusiast's Point of View

When my brother and sister-in-law first invited me to join them, I jokingly replied: "You just want more photos!"  The minute I arrived at Balay Indang, I knew I would be clicking away as my eyes were filled with beautiful scenes and wonderful images.  I did not even have the trouble of deciding what to shoot first,  all I needed to do was to point my camera  at any direction.  If I were alone, with no schedule or plans of visiting other places, one day is not enough to capture what I experienced in Balay Indang.  Literally and figuratively, it was a sensory overload.  I took shot after shot of outdoor scenes (the pathways, the garden, the swimming pool, the gazebo, the watch tower) to indoor images (our room, the main house, the never ending collection of antiques and memorabilia) I would even delay our meals just so that I can take photos of our food, and yet I took more photos the next day and even until we left for Manila.   My brother and sister-in-law told me that a group of photographers had a photo shoot around the leisure farm on the second day of their stay there.  I would love to share the same experience with my photographer friends.  So, guys, when can we fit this into our schedules?  

I will be posting my photos in my Facebook account within the next couple of days and update this blog with the link,  As of now, let me share just some of the photos that I have available. 

 Just one of the gazebos / cabanas where you can rest during the day.

This is where our room was located (the room to the left.) This cabin has 3 rooms that can accommodate small to big groups.

One of the  rooms located on the 2nd floor inside the main house.

Another room on the 2nd floor of the main house.

Still inside the main house.

Main house common area as viewed from the 2nd floor.

Powder area inside the Main House's comfort room.  One way to get a self-portrait :)

Wash area inside the Main House's comfort room.

For more photos of Balay Indang, just click here.

My Balay Indang Experience: The Introduction

(I decided to divide this blog into five (5) separate blogs so I can concentrate on each topic and make each entry short but informative.) 

Just over a month ago, thanks to the vacation treat that I shared with my brother and sister-in-law, I was able to experience what I would like to call a sensory-overload vacation.  I learned about Balay Indang through the album of a photographer friend.  And when my brother asked me to recommend a place where he and his wife can spend a few days away from the city after their wedding day, Balay Indang was at the top of my list even though I have not been there before.  I just got their details off the internet, along with several more locations, just in case things did not work out since they did not have prior reservations.  I knew I made the right choice on the recommendation as soon as I got a call from them on their first night, after experiencing just a few hours of Balay Indang hospitality,  They were raving about their dinner; the taste, the eat-all-you-can portion, the number of dishes served, etc., etc. and they were so excited that they wanted me to join them right away so I can experience the same thing.  At that time, the only downside that they could see was that Balay Indang did not have cable television and no internet connection as well. But even with that piece of information, I still decided to make the trip and joined the couple after giving them one more night on their own. 

the newlyweds' vacation treat

This is the reason why I suddenly disappeared in the 3 social networking sites I've been maintaining.

Introduction:  About a month ago, our family started preparing for Robel and Rose's wedding.  When I found out that they were finally pushing through with it, I volunteered to be their photographer.  I was set to cover only their prenuptial shoot and their wedding day.  I did a lot of preparations, even up to the extent of upgrading and adding to my gears.  Now, to those who do not know yet, I have been managing a small digital photo printing shop since November of last year.  The couple wanted to have their invitations printed and since they also wanted to help the shop earn, they asked me to do it for them and I happily accepted the task.  Then, I sprang an idea for wedding souvenir that I can also make for them: a CD compilation of their favorite songs with a cover label with their picture on it.  They liked the idea and also commissioned me to do it.  Just when I thought that was the extent of my role in their wedding,  my parents also requested me to coordinate the wedding reception for the couple since I mostly handle get-together events for the family.  To cut the story short, my responsibility/role in their wedding was bigger than I thought.  All these I did, without asking anything in return from the couple.  Although they did pay for the shop's output, my services were totally free.  My stress level a week before the wedding was even a lot higher than the two lovebirds combined.  They were relaxed as relaxed can be.  I would jokingly say to them, "It feels like I'm the one getting married!"  In the end, the wedding and the reception that followed, turned out pretty much the way the couple wanted it to be, simple but special. 

One more request:  A week before the wedding, my brother approached me and asked me for one more favor.  He asked for advice on where they could go for their "honeymoon."  "Since you and your photography friends have gone to a lot of nice places, maybe you can give me resort or hotel names in or around Tagaytay," he reasoned out.  And so, in addition to the things that I still had to do for the wedding and reception, I went ahead and made some research.  I was supposed to make reservations for them but the stress was too much that I forgot to do it earlier that week.  And so, they decided that they will go to Tagaytay the day after their wedding and wing it with the help of the list that I came up with.  July 16 came but I wasn't able to print the list and so I told them that I will text them the names and address of the places I had in my list.  In the end, after almost getting lost and getting there just as the sun was setting, they went to Balay Indang, Indang, Cavite via Tagaytay route. 

The vacation treat:  As soon as they got settled and experienced the first few hours of Balay Indang hospitality, they called me on my cellphone.  They kept insisting that I drop everything and join them there.  Although they asked me to join them even before they left for Tagaytay, I had to decline  since I thought that they would only stay for the weekend.  I also had to say no since we still had some relatives staying with us and my Dad was expecting visitors from Indonesia.  Plus, there was a get-together the day after which was previously planned and I could not get away from it.  But when I found out that they were planning to stay longer; and after receiving several persistent phone call invitations, I immediately made plans to join them Monday, July 18, 2011.  After making arrangements and giving last minute instructions to my one and only staff at the shop; and after going to the reception venue to pay the balance for the services rendered, I went to Tagaytay via commuter van.

To show their appreciation for all the hard work I did for them on and before their special day, they shouldered almost all of my expenses while I stayed with them as they extended their stay in Balay Indang for two (2) more nights.  Details of my Balay Indang experience will be in another blog all together since I cannot sum up everything in just one paragraph.

The pact:  As we had our first meal together, I recalled our first out-of-town trip (as a trio) several years ago.  I mentioned it to them and suggested that we should do this every year (of course not their treat anymore hehehe!)  And so, we made a pact that every year, we would go look for places where we can spend our vacations together.  Before I get violent reactions from my sister, brother-in-law and younger brother, let me open the same invitation to you.  So, guys, better save up as early as now so we can do this all together next year, okay!?!

one + one = new additions to the family

Just recently, my eldest brother, Robel, got married to his long-time girlfriend, Rose.  They have been together for 14 years and getting hitched was not far from their minds during the 1st half of those 14 years.  But due to a lot of personal reasons, plans got pushed back; and back; and further back until AT LAST one day, everything got synced and the plans became a reality. 

After less than a month of preparation, we formally welcomed Rose to our family last July 15, 2011.  Although we have treated her as part of the family in all those years they were together as sweethearts,  being able to say that she is now my sister-in-law is far better than just calling her my brother's girlfriend/intended.

And now, we are looking forward to more additions to the family.  Stay tuned for more updates! :)

Anecdote:  (why I am never getting married according to my mom bwahahaha)
A week before the wedding, my mom, aunt, the couple and Rose's younger sister, Marivic, went shopping to look for a dress for Rose's mom.  Since my mom already bought her dress a week before that day, she blurted out to the group that she should have waited for that shopping trip to buy her dress because the dresses there were a lot nicer and cheaper than where she got hers.  Marivic told her while they were standing there checking out possible choices: "Tita, go on and buy one more dress.  It won't go to waste anyway since you can wear it one day at Katy's wedding."  My mom replied without batting her eyelashes (as recounted to me by Robel and Rose) "I won't let her get married!  She's going to take care of me and her dad when we grow older!"  And that was not the first time she said that!  (First time was when my older sister, Melicel, got married 20 years ago.)  Oh yes, yes, it was a joke then, and still a joke now, but I don't want to wait for the 3rd time for her to say it and forever take away the chance for that certain guy to find his Princess Charming.  So Jomari....you better behave and not get married before me, okay?  bwahahahahaha just kidding!

when plans change

When I started out with photography, I have always been fascinated with people's faces; the shapes and sizes, the distinguishing marks, and the expressions and emotions that they share especially during candid shots.  But since I wanted to learn more, I also tried other fields like studio portraiture, street photography, and landscape/seascape photography. 

Before I traded in my Baby Niko (Nikon D40X) just this past month, I was already leaning towards landscape/seascape photography.  I already wrote my list of what gear to buy next so I can go out with friends who were starting to get serious with landscape/seascape subjects.  I have been constantly bugging them for tips while saving up for seminars that can help me with the said field.  Lo and behold, when I upgraded to Kuya Nikolo (Nikon D90) the lens I bought along with the camera was Ate Niki, a prime lens (50mm f/1.8). 

L- R Kuya Nikolo, Ate Niki, Susa and Aiko

 at my brother's wedding

For those who are not familiar with photography gears, a prime lens is best used in portraiture.  The "bokeh" that it gives leaves out the noise of the background and focuses on your subject.  Though you can use the prime lens for other subjects, I realized that I enjoy using it more on taking photos of people.  I tested out my new gears just like a child would play with a new toy.  The decision to upgrade my gears came when I was preparing to shoot for my brother and sister-in-law.  With only a few days practice, I went ahead and shot their prenuptial pictures.  I fumbled around at first but as I took more photos, I knew that this was it for me.  I know I need more practice, but I can safely say that I am back in my niche.  One day, I know that I will still take pictures of landscapes/seascapes.  But as for now,  I will be chasing people around with Kuya Nikolo and Ate Niki.  Subject volunteers, anyone?

Can I do this on my own?

My rock; my fort; my anchor; my mentor; my DAD is now facing a new chapter in his life.  A chapter we all want him to skip as a whole, but no matter what I say or do now, this chapter is currently being written.  I have been meaning to express how I feel about this new chapter for quite some time now, but I was not (and still not) that brave to do so.  I was afraid that I would only break down and cry and never even come out with the right words.  As I type, I am fighting the tears from falling.  Am I winning?  I would like to believe so, since I can still see clearly and I can still type without wiping the tears away.

My dad was diagnosed with colon cancer early this year.  He is currently undergoing the 2nd phase of chemotherapy.  He is complaining a lot more now than he did during the first phase.  Although we've been hearing good feed backs from his doctors, we are still preparing for the worst case scenario.  As much as we would like to stay positive, being prepared for the unknown is not that negative.

When we were younger, my siblings and I would get mad at them (our parents) every time they talked about preparing for their eventual departure (even up to now I can't let myself type the other D word when connected to the words mom and dad).  But as our spiritual formation got stronger through the years, we could talk about it without thinking how morbid they could be for thinking about it when they were both healthy and strong.   There even was a time when we would talk about the details of our wakes and funerals just so that we'd know what to do when that time came.

This is not the first health scare in the family.  We've all been through our own fair share.  Those of you who know me can attest to that.   I can be very brave about my own health condition, but when it comes to my parents, I am just as scared as scared can be.  I shudder with the thought of being without them.  That statement alone made me lose my battle with the tears that I've been trying to hold off.  I know that they have done their best to prepare us (me and my siblings) to be on our own, but if I had my own way, I'd rather that they live forever.

I would like to see my dad stand proud and tall again, without doubling over from weakness, nausea, or pain.  I would rather see him with his big tummy than see him lose weight very fast.  I still have a lot of things I want to do and achieve, and I would like my dad to still be there when I do so.  Can I do those things alone?  I know I can, but I would rather fail any undertaking than be successful but not have him there to share it with.

Dad, I know that all of us will face our own final chapters in life,  but as much as I can, I would love to share several more chapters with you.  I love you Dad! Stay strong and keep the faith. 

Love always, 

Katy